i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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