My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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