how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So much Jack, so little girl.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
