you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
