Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
