I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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