Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
