I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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