What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I touched a dick in church today
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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