none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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