Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
