Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
