Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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