Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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