New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
