took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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