Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
