I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
