Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he thought i was a dude.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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