Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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