You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my shit smells like andre
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
