If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
