I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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