ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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