no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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