Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
