Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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