Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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