My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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