Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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