Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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