butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
