honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
