Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
