ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
