So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
