it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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