Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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