There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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