he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
