Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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