Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
