I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
