She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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