How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
