I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
is it fun? or sober?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
