There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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