Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
