Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
