Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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