i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you're hired as official boob wrangler
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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