How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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