Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize