I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
