I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
