This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if only i could text you this smell
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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