i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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