How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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